Proteins

'pat skin dry'

'rub with combo of salt/pepper'

'350 for 90 minuts for a 3 pound chicken.'-ILS

Yes it's that easy. Don't use salt that's too fine, though, or it'll be too salty. Salt grains too big == not salty enough. Fresh-ground pepper is the best. Feel free to toss some root vegetables underneath--parsnip, onion, carrot, turnip, etc are all great. Sometimes I put some garlic in the cavity. Or bay. Or both. -SRD

'What fun!! I am going to give you my famous pot roast. A meal in 1 pot. 1 brisket. Put in pot with cut up onions, celery, green pepper and garlic. Cover with a bottle of chili sauce.

Cover pot and put in oven at 350 degrees.

Cook about 2 hours. Add carrots, and small potatoes and 1/2 bottle of beer (more if roast looks dry) cook about another hour until Carrots are soft. Take out of oven and let stand covered for an hour before slicing. Serve vegetables in gravy along with sliced meat (slice against grain) Serve with garlic bread and red wine.' -SSR

'Brent's "I didn't think turkey burgers were a legitimate foodstuff until now" turkey burger recipe:
Ingredients: Ground turkey meat (if making for enough people, prefer a mix of low-fat and higher-fat. otherwise just go with higher-fat for stickiness), A-1 Steak Sauce, Hot sauce (prefer Louisiana hot sauce), Cavender's Greek Seasoning (rather hard to replace, and if you are afraid of MSG i believe it contains it. i have used a mix of pepper, salt, basil, oregano, thyme, garlic, and a tiny bit of nutmeg.)
Process: I usually use four packages of 0.75lb ground turkey to make a large number of burgers, an entire bottle of A-1, and copious (but not overwhelming) amounts of hot sauce and seasoning. Mix ground turkey, half the amount of A-1, hot sauce, and seasoning in large bowl. Your hands will be cold. Form into dense patties. Cook evenly over medium-high heat, flipping often. I usually start at very high heat for the first two flips to ensure the patties don't fall apart, then lower to medium. For the first few flips, dash with hot sauce, A-1, or seasoning. You can really go to town on it. I usually try to drink a beer or two while making these. If you do the same, feel free to add a small splash of the beer to the skillet. Serve with normal burger fixings (I prefer: red onion, lettuce, tomato, horseradish mustard, sharp cheese, good bun. if extremely fancy, garnish with dill.)
Optional: Saute onions and/or mushrooms in the skillet while cooking the burgers.' -BS

'Beef Tenderloin

Serves 6 or 7 at one time, or will keep you in excellent meat supply for a week.

Buy 1 beef tenderloin-about 3 or 4 pounds. This will be very expensive.

Bring to room temperature.
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.
Rub the meat with olive oil, kosher salt, and cracked pepper.
Place on a cookie sheet.
Roast for 10 minutes or so, then flip it over and roast on the other side another 10 minutes or so.
Timing ALL depends on the oven, the temperature of the meat, the length of time the oven door stays open while you are making the flip, and the moon phases.
Remove meat from oven and loosely cover with foil -- allow the meat to rest for 10 minutes before slicing and serving. Garnish with parsely sprigs.
'-ILS

1 roasting chicken, 1 lemon, 1 handful of thyme, salt (kosher preferred), pepper, optional, but a strongly recommended piece of equipment: 1 fat separator, optional, truly optional: tablespoon or two of flour and a shot or two of white wine. 1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit. 2. Pat the chicken dry and rub with salt and pepper. 3. Place the thyme inside the cavity of the chicken. 4. Pack the whole lemon inside the cavity. 5. Place the chicken on a big cast iron skillet or steel paella pan (something that you can ultimately place over direct heat) and put the whole thing on a center rack of the oven. 6. Remove the chicken from the oven after ninety minutes. 7. Move the chicken onto a plate or chopping block to rest for at least 15 minutes. 8. Meanwhile, pour the pan drippings into the fat separator. Wait a few minutes for the fat to rise to the top. Pour the juice (not fat!) back into the skillet. 9. Remove the lemon and as much of the thyme as you want from the cavity and place it all in the skillet. Pierce the lemon carefully (the juice will fly!), cut it in half and then squeeze all the hot lemon juice into the skillet. If you want to add a little wine to the mix at this point you may. Boil the whole mixture down, scraping the solid drippings (crinkly skin and such) from the skillet as it reduces. 10. As the gravy reduces, you may remove a third or half cup of the hot juice and stir in a tablespoon or so of flour, and then add it to the gravy to make the whole thicken. You then have thickened chicken gravy (try saying that fast as you figure out what to do with it—I like pouring it over everything).' -MPD

'Nathan's Special Snack

At Whole Foods, buy a 1/2 pound of good sliced Black Forest ham, a 1/4 pound of sliced salami, and a package of pre-sliced Pepper Jack.

Always have a box of toothpicks in your messy Saran Wrap drawer. Make sure the toothpicks are always spilling out of the half-broken box or jammed into a small Ziplock.

Take the flaps of ham, salami, and cheese and roll them up into individual scrolls, pinning each scroll with a toothpick. Arrange scrolls on a plate like the petals of a flower with a dollop of Gray Poupon in the center as a capitulum, so to speak. Serve as a snack with a large glass of orange juice and the Post-Dispatch comics.'-ILS